Serius - Trailer Filem Cikgu Suraya : Filem Adaptasi Novel Melayu Paling Popular!

Hahaha

Nice one Mogi.. nice one . Sure kalah kutipan KL Gangster

Serius - #ClassicFOA - Kenapa Melodi dan Buletin Utama Perlu Bertukar Wartawan

Sila Baca : Jangan emo

(NOTE : Originally written in August 2011 - thus the outdated roster of journo and portfolio of ministers)

Kebanyakkan kamu benci dengan TV3 kan? Benci membuak-buak macam globul udara yang terbentuk selepas kamu kentut didalam bath tub. Blub blub bunyinya dan bila ianya sampai ke permukaan air, semerbak bau tinja mencabul reseptor hidung. Benci wujud kerana pada kamu Bulletin Utama ialah sebuah rancangan CEREKA yang cuba tetapi gagal to disguise itself as a proper NEWS show. I mean seriosly when was the last time you feel obliged to watch Bulletin Utama? I can recall the exact date. September 11 2001. That was the last time that I voluntarily sit my ass infront of the TV to watch it. These days I will only tune in to watch Bulletin Utama to look at the female sports news presenter. I dunno what's her name is but she is fucking fit. Ha ha!

The fact that a lot of people hates Bulletin Utama is understandable. Most of my friends are Pro Pakatan people and they can't stomach the blatant Pro-BN propaganda spewed on the telly anymore.

Tetapi ada kepelikkan disini. Tahu apa kepelikkan itu? Kebanyakkan diantara kamu yang pro Pakatan rata-rata katakan wartawan TV3 semua tak boleh pakai. Ramai yang percaya semua "berita" yang dipaparkan TV3 berkenaan parti Anwar Ibrahim and co adalah karya cereka yang layak diletakkan bersebelahan karya Stephanie Mayer di kedai buku. This same people who denounces Bulletin Utama then had no problem watching MELODI on Sundays.

Lepas tu bila ada berita hangat pasal artis so and so korang jugaklah yang paling hangat nak memaki artis so and so di laman media social.

"Eh babi sial Miera Liyena ni.... minum arak! Ya Allah kapirnya kau"

Wait..... wait........ what the fuck is this? Kau kata wartawan TV3 babi anjing. Kau kata berita TV3 tak boleh pakai langsung pasal semuanya fabrikasi. Kau pertahankan Lelaki Y dan Lim Guan Beng (inside joke kepada pembaca Twitter sekalian) bermati-matian. Kamu sarankan diboikot semua media arus perdana kerana melaporkan fitnah. Tapi kamu kemudian tanpa segan silu pergi 711 beli Berita Harian untuk sisipan BiPOP setiap Ahad. Bah! Boikot konon!

Mari kembali kepada Melodi. Kenapa bila ada gossip panas dipaparkan dalam rancangan ini kamu cepat percaya? Mudah memaki Artis A pasal kononnya dia minum beer bukan berjenama Barbican di kelab malam. Kamu tahu TV3 ada long history of fabricating crap to pursue their own bullshit agenda kan? Kamu tahu mereka will do anything for a rating kan? Kamu juga tahu Melodi biased macam SPR pasal bila selebriti mereka sendiri yang terkantol tak pula si ASS AHMAD rambut macam BULU ARI-ARI ALLEYCATS pergi TERJAH. Kes Raja Hendon Mastura pakai bikini? NO NEWS. Tapi Fasha Sendal pakai bikini habis dijajanya satu Malaya. Gambar Michelle peluk balak Melayu dia dan kissing NO FUCKING NEWS . Tapi gambar Puteri Sarah Liyana kiss BF di paparkan banyak kali. Fatty McFat Fuck Jalan Jalan Cari Kolesterol saman BF dia pasal tak jadi kawin? NO SHIT SIR I DUNNO WHAT U TALKING ABOUT? . The list goes on dear readers!

See?

So why are we so quick to believe in the gossips featured in Melodi? Oh and a question that I often hear asked by my MELODI hating friends is;

"Eh kenapa orang sanggup layan Melodi eh tapi tak sanggup layan Buletin Utama. Both shows takde kualiti dan berita bohong. So why one is MORE highly rated than the other?"

Aku ada jawapan kepada soalan bernas ini. Simple........ do you know why? I give you a minute. No it is not because of Melodi memaparkan lebih banyak awek hot dan lurah berdendam. Sebab utama kenapa orang suka tengok melodi dari Bulletin Utama ialah kerana tak macam wartawan Bulletin Utama, wartawan MELODI BERANI BERTANYA SOALAN PANAS DAN TAJAM. Ass Ahmad dan Michelle sanggup cari artis sehingga kelobang Saiful Bukhari semata-mata hendak dapatkan jawapan. Mereka tanya soalan direct tanpa mengira hati perut dan juga limfa si artis yang diterjah.

Bezakan dengan wartawan Bulletin Utama. Lepas kes Teoh Beng Hock, Adik Aminurashid , S Kugan dan 2 wanita Singapura disuruh berbogel dahulu ada tak wartawan Malaysia terjah pihak berwajib untuk dapatkan straight answer? Adakah Hishamuddin Onn diterjah oleh Pang Chin Fei ketika sedang makan di DOME macam Miera Liyana kena terjah oleh Ass Ahmad? Aku HENDAK SANGAT tengok Hisamuddin Onn terkebil-kebil dan tershitbrix disuruh komen pasal kematian Aminurashid ketika tak bersedia macam Miera Liyana. I bet most of you would love to see this too. Di Unitd Kingdom, menteri dan wakil rakyat keluar rumah sahaja kena terjah wartawan untuk dapatkan jawapan adalah perkara biasa. John Prescott (dulu menteri pengangkutan UK) kena terjah masa lepas balik berjogging depan rumah kerana wartawan mahu jawapan dari beliau mengenai kenaikkan cukai jalan. Berpeluh pakcik tu jawab sampai depan pintu rumah dia.

You know what would be awesome. Orang benci MELODI sekarang pasal wartawannya terlalu obstrusif jaga tepi BIKINI selebriti. Orang benci Bulletin Utama kerana wartawannya tak bertanya THE RIGHT questions kepada Pak Menteri kita tentang isu negara. Here is an idea yang aku nak sampaikan kepada CEO TV3 dan MEDIA PRIMA

Swap duty. Suruh Ass Ahmad, Michelle and Azwan Azmi (same dumbshit yang paparkan berita INCEPTION aku sebagai REAL GOSSIP) . Aku nak tengok depa ada the same TESTICULAR FORTITUDE tak untuk tanya Pak Menteri kita soalan tajam yang kita mahukan jawapannya. Aku termimpi-mimpi tengok Ass Ahmad menolak mikrofon depan muka pengarah SPRM dan tanya

"Kes Dato S dan 12 pegawai kastam tempohari bila nak ada follow up? Kenapa tiada yang diseret ke mahkamah walaupun dah kes dah setahun berlalu?"

I am going to bet that secara automatis MELODI turun rating dan Bulletin Utama pula menjadi show yang wajib tonton.

So TV3..... amacam? Berani?

p/s : Why someone weak? Because a weak man knows the value of strength, the value of power.

Serius FOA - Adolf Hitler Berjaya Muslim Akan Gembira? : Why This is Bullshit!

Bangang punya MELEIS!

Was reading twitter today when I saw this tweet by my old friend @Witherthorne

I think it is about time I REPOSTED yet another one of my OLD writings from Freedom of Association. Why MUST you read this? To dispel the MYTH that kalau NAZI menang perang dunia ke dua dulu kita tidak akan ada masalah ISRAEL. Apa yang mungkin anda tidak tahu ialah selepas pemusnahan ETNIK Yahudi Hitler sudah ada rancangan menyerang tanah Arab dan menghapuskan ETNIK Arab pula.

Yes kids..... that Swell Ole Adolf had plans to conquer the Middle East and then wipe the Arabs from the face of the earth just like he did to the jew. PLEASE READ. 

Original article was posted in  FOA back in October 2010


The truth about Hitler's "Islamic tendencies"

Last week a gutless,balless and definitely penisless Anon posted a link on my talk cock box. Following the link I came upon a Faecbook entry about Hitler supposedly pro-Islamic views . The blog entry then implores Muslims to start seeing Hitler as not the villain as we know him today, but as a hero to be admired. The author who is allegedly an Arab, gave four reason why Hitler is one of the good guys. I was immediately appalled by this revisionist bullshit. How can you whitewash the crimes committed by a man who killed over 6 million people between 1939-1945? The answer is you can’t. Let me tell you the story of Adolph and at the same time debunking the “apologist” views of this unnamed Arab writer

Due to the TL:DR nature of this topic I will only tackle 3 of the major points. Let's begin.

HITLER QUOTED FROM THE KORAN AND ALLEGEDLY PROCLAIMED ALLAH IS GOD

So what if he took some verses from the Koran in his speeches? In Malaysia we have Muslim politician using verses from the Koran to gain political mileage. The most overused Koranic verse used by our politicians is from Surah Yasin

“Kun fayakun”

Fuck me! Can you guys please use a different verse? Ok I knowlah the only part of the Koran that you know how to read is probably only THE YASSIN (mengaku la der.. gua pun baca Yasin je. Takyahlah munafik sangat claim A'lim) . But that does not mean you can recycle this verse over 9000 times per year. Hitler might have quoted a different verse, but the reason of using them in his speeches was the same. It was to pander to the fools whose opinions were easily manipulated . The sad reality is in politics nothing is sacred. You can use and abuse religion to further your political agenda. Mahathir and his goons love quoting the Koran to condemn Anwar’s alleged buttfucking habits. The dumb religious conservatives in Malaysia predictably swallowed the propaganda hook, line and sinker.

“Mahadeath ambil contoh dari cerita nabi Luth.. mesti betul ni! Takkan pemimpin Islam berani main-mainkan cerita dari Al Quran!”

Last week if you guys can remember I wrote about Peter Popoff who used verses from the Bible to sell his bullshit miracle cures. In Malaysia we have Ustaz Putar Alam pulling the same scam using the Holy Koran.

Now let me ask you an honest question ladies and gentlefaggots. Would you forgive Popoff and Ustaz Putar Alam because they quoted verses from their respective holy books? I have a feeling most of you would crucify them rather than forgive their despicable act. The act of duping thousands of desperately sick people (most of it terminal) of their hard earned money is simply unforgivable. Hitler in the other hand killed millions and if you can’t forgive Popoff and Putar Alam why must you forgive Hitler?

Serius FOA - Serius FOA - The Israel Palestinian Conflict #2

The Bahasa Penjajah Edition: Coz in BM people kinda misunderstood my shit writing

It seems that my foray into writing in Malay was an unmitigated failure. Maybe it is due to my limited grasp of Bahasa. All the things I wrote were misinterpreted as me kissing the Star of David and trampling on the face of dying Palestinian babies.

You know what? I am just going to write in English here so that my word will not be misinterpreted by people who are clearly reading that article while being pissed off (lepas tengok Astro awani dan nampak baby mati mesti emo. Nampak perkataan YAHUDI je menggelegak batin kejap). I guess I started off with the wrong foot when I gave you a short history on the "terror" attacks done in the name of Palestinian freedom. I understand where the anger came from. Hey go ahead. If that article I wrote help you vent out your anger the good on you. At least tak lah balik rumah and start punching the new HDTV when you saw Shimon Perez or Tzipi Livni on the news.

Here is a reason why I started that article with the human rights violation done in the name of Freedom. This is to reinforce the idea that instilling fear and intimidation (through "terrorism") has been going on for decades with negligible contribution to the Palestinian cause. It is in my opinion that hijackings and “terror attacks” did more harm to the cause than increasing the support for freedom. I was merely pointing out that maybe... just maybe after decades of doing the same thing without success we should now change tact and try another way to resolve the issue.

But I was walloped for even suggesting an alternate way of handling this decades old faggotry between the sons of Abraham.

Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut? I am disappointed with the Arabs and Jews equally to be honest. Both of them are not willing to give concessions to the other side when negotiating. I guess my going for the middle ground view came from the fact that I am one eight Arabic and have a Jewish first name. I could not be 100% sympathetic to the Arabic POV nor can I be 100% sympathetic to the Jews POV. While it is true that when two sides are arguing with equal volume the truth does not always lay in the middle, but more often than not people still chose the middle ground anyway.

Artwork by Benheine

Jalan Dalam Kasut – Walk in their Shoes - Jangan Salah Faham

This was misinterpreted by some as me saying that we must see this conflict from the POV of the Europeans. I really didn’t mean that. I was asking you to put down your songkok/keffiyeh/turban just for five minutes and see what is the perception of the non Muslim on this situation. As I said in that blog entry, the world opinion is largely non sympathetic towards the Muslim. While they felt sorry for the death of women, children and the elderly they also saw the same atrocities being done by Muslim “terrorists”. If the Jews kept killing the innocent and we did not retaliate like for like, we will have the moral high ground. But we may never get the moral high ground now. Why? An event in New York one sunny September morning will always tilt the balance the other way around.

“Effi you fucking Jew wannabe... that is all Jewish PR you fucking asshole. Why are you being brainwashed by the Rupert Murdoch Jew propaganda. I suggest you go to a Synagogue and kiss the Torah now”

Ha! I know you are going to say that. The Jew propaganda will always pop up like a garden mole when discussing this conflict. True. I agree with you guys on that. The Zionist PR machine is so awesome in creating alternate reality that skew the truth. When you know that they will turn any piece of news in THEIR FAVOUR why give them more fodder to besmirch the Islamic cause? If you fight them with BB Guns and they will claim you shot them with an AK-47. Why not just not stop fighting them bullets for bullet. If no bullets are flying from our side to their side lets see how they want to spin that into a pro Israel news item

“More news in Gaza today as Palestinian staged a non violent sit down outside of the Al Aqsa mosque. The Israel Defence Force fearing for their safety due to these candle carrying Arabs were force to shoot them because those candles produce CO2 that will suffocate their troops”

How will they cut that video footage to show that the peaceful sit down is a security threat? I. At this moment they can just show footage of Hamas's Katyusha rocket firing wildly into Israel territory (it might fell into a river killing no one but they have their “HAMAS aggression” video footage now!) and use it as an excuse to drop a 500 pound bomb into a Palestinian home. This was the crux of my argument against continued armed resistance. It’s a LOSE LOSE situation because you can never get a balance media report on your behalf.

Ok lah. No need to go a few thousand miles to the west for this type of journalistic douchebaggery. We have our own “distorted media reporting” in Malaysia. I am surprised that I didn’t use this as an analogy before. Let’s just say for analogy sake that the BN Government is the Israeli and the Pakatan Rakyat is the Palestinian (I will be ISA-ed soon... LOL). Remember the Batu Burok incident and the Reformasi movement? Remember how they twisted the stories to paint the PR as terrorists and traitors of Malaysia? What did the PR do after being repeatedly demonised in the government controlled media? They change their tactic 180 degrees. No more street demos and not to retaliate to provocation. Even if you are being beaten by the FRU do not fight back and just take it like a man. Do not give them an excuse to find a footage of the PR people fighting back. That video will be repeated to give the impression that PR is indeed violent. Not surprisingly now the government medias are struggling to create propaganda against PR. The same can be applied in Palestine if they try hard enough. BUT they won’t as most of you pointed out in the comment section. I agreed with all your views on the hardheadedness of the Semites.

I am sorry but I have to end this now. I would love to write more but the problem is this is supposed to be a LULZ blog. This kind of discussion if prolonged will just infuriate me. In the long run I cannot write lulz worthy blog entries.Before I go let’s just remember one word COEXIST.

or read this article which I think is more well written than my piece of misinterpereted shit!

p/s: You arrogant ass! You killed us!

Serius FOA - The Israel Palestinian Conflict #1

Perlukah Palestin dan Islam tukar cara perjuangan?

Konflik asia tengah sudah berlarutan beratus tahun. Kalau mahu lebih tepat sudah lebih semillenia pihak islam dan "mush islam“ (Bukan RPK ya!) bergochoh di atas tanah yang dinamakan Palestin. Cuma dulu pihak islam ber-smackdown dan bermain pancung-pancung leher dengan askar salib. Kini bila majoriti orang Islam dah bercomolot dengan orang barat kerana saling bergantung paut penjualan minyak, giliran kita untuk ber-smackdown dan pancung memancung dengan Yahudi pula.

Dulu ketika baru bertumbuk pihak PLO main curik-curik kapal terbang. Kapal udara milik El Al dan beberapa syarikat penerbangan anarabnagsa "dipau“ dari udara dan dipaksa mendarat di Revolution Airport,Amman Jordan. Ketika itulah akronim PLO dan perjuangan mereka kali pertama mendapat tumpuan dunia. Maka berkelahlah pihak perampas dan 310 orang tebusan di padang pasir selama beberapa hari. Kemuncak episod rampasan ini ialah main event dimana kesemua pesawat yang dirampas diletupakan secara serentak. Pada masa tu membunuh tebusan masih lagi dianggap taboo. Selepas permintaan mereka ditunaikan semua terbusan dilepaskan dan perampas melarikan diri ke Jordan.

artwork by BENHEINE

Itu kali terakhir pihak Israel berurusan dengan pihak "pengganas". Tahunnya ialah 1970. Selepas peristiwa ini pihak Israel tidak lagi melepaskan melepaskan pengganas dalam tahanan sebagai pertukaran untuk nyawa orang awam.

Selang beberapa tahun selepas itu dan kita menyambut kedatangan Olimpik ke 20 di Munich, Jerman Barat. Pada bulan September 1972 segerombolan pejuang palestin menceroboh perkampungan Olimpik dan menahan sekumpulan atlet dari Israel sebagai tebusan. Uniknya insiden kali ini ialah selain meminta dibebaskan pejuang Palestin dalam tahanan Israel, mereka juga meminta beberapa tahanan dari kumpulan pengganas anti-semitik Baader-Meinhoff dibebaskan dari penjara. Baader-Meinhoff adalah kumpulan pengganas dari German Timur yang ditaja secara rahsia oleh badan perisikan Russia yakni KGB. Dan sekiranya kamu ingin tahu kebanyakkan "pengganas“ atau "radical elements“ (ini adalah klasifikasi yang digunakan CIA) pada waktu perang dingin ditaja oleh KGB. KGB tidak pedulipun jika "elemen radikal“ ini terdiri dari golongan islamist. Yang penting mereka mewujudkan kekacauan di negara-negara Barat. KGB juga menjadi pemodal utama bagi PIRA (Provinsional Irish Republican Army) yang banyak mengebom bandar-bandar utama di United Kingdom sehinggalah pertengahan 90-an. Lebih menarik lagi elemen-elemen radikal ini selalu berjumpa,berbincang dan berlatih bersama-sama di kem latihan di padang pasir Syria. Hanya selepas Kesatuan Soviet musnah pada tahun 1991 barulah elemen radikal islamist ini mendapat bantuan kewangan secara total dari “pemodal” seperti Osama ben Laden. Baader-Meinhoff dan PIRA pula hilang secara mendadak kerana ketiadaan "penaja“ aktiviti revolutioner mereka.

Diantara 1972 hinggalah sekarang banyak serangan di serata dunia menggunakan Palestin sebagai basis untuk mengahalalkan pembunuhan orang awam. Maka sudah lebih 30 tahun mereka menggunakan "fear and intimidation“ untuk memaksa Yahudi untuk berundur dari Palestin. Persoalannya berapa efektifkah taktik memaksa ini? Adakah kamu merasakan sekarang orang Islam atau bukan islam semakin simpati pada orang Palestin? Aku rasa sebaliknya berlaku sekarang. Rata-rata komentar dari lama web luar negara mentertawakan Palestin. Kebanyakkan komen berbunyi sebegini

"They have been doing this terrorism business for the past three decades. When will they realize that people no longer sympathise with their plight. It is like what happened to the Japanese in WWII. They started the war and killed millions. So when we dropped THE bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima no one cared that thousands of civilians died in the ensuing firestorm. No one wept for those who died in the Tokyo firebombing as well. Simply put, if you started the the war by killing civilians/non-combatants you have NO MORAL GROUND to start calling people unfair and barbaric”

Harap kamu semua dapat melihat kenapa sekarang bila Gaza dilanyak tidak adapun kuasa besar yang membantah. Kita hanya mampu membakar bendera berbintang David dan mengutuk “kekejaman” regim Zionis.Kamu marah bila melihat tiada reaksi besar dari negara barat. Konspirasi pihak anti Islam kata kamu. Tapi cuba kamu “pakai kasut” mereka untuk satu hari. Cuba lihat dari mata pandangan seorang Eropah. Lupakan selama seminit yang kamu seorang penyimpati Palestin. Kamu rasa bolehkah kamu berasa kasihan pada orang Palestin bedasarkan peristiwa-peristiwa yang berlaku semenjak 30 tahun lebih kebelakangan ini? Jika kamu kata "ya saya boleh simpati" aku rasa kamu membohongi diri kamu atau kamu memang berhati suci kudus mengalahkan Son Goku. Ingat di kawasan yang diserang baru-baru ini 65% penduduknya mengundi Hamas. They know what they are doing by voting these opportunist disguised as soldiers of Allah.

Bila berbincang isu keganasan dan Palestin aku gemar menjadi Devil’s Advocate. Mungkin kerana ketika zaman berdebat zaman persekolahan dulu selalu sangat berdebat dari pihak pembangkang. Bila kita lihat sesuatu isu dari pihak yang berlainan barulah kita boleh tahu motivasi mereka. Apa yang membuatkan mereka berdetik (what make them tick) dan dari situ kita boleh tahu cara menyelesaikan masalah yang ada.Dalam kes terkini aku tidak boleh salahkan Israel 100% atas retaliotary reaction mereka. Tahukah anda yang Hamas sengaja meletakkan pejabat mereka ditengah-tengah kawasan awam? Tahukah kamu Hamas meletakkan bom dan alat persenjataan mereka di dalam masjid,hospital dan apartment awam? Read that again UNDERNEATH mosque,hospitals and apartments.Jadi janganlah terkejut dan mengamok bila ada orang awam terkorban bila bom pintar Yahudi jatuh ke atas kepala mereka.

Kebanyakkan "pejuang Islam“ sekarang mengatakan mereka mahu berjihad seperti rasul menentang kuffar. Tapi aku pelik. Ketika zaman nabi dahulu ada ke nabi menyerang penempatan awam? Ada tak nabi menyembunyikan senjata di tempat awam?

"Tapi Effi kamu ni memang si liberal laknat. Yahudi bunuh saudara kita macam bunuh nyamuk.Itu yang lebih penting kamu fikirkan“

Betul. But does that give us a MORAL GROUND for justice? Why fight fire with fire? Since muslims are now so keen on being TRUE ISLAMIST LIKE THE PROPHET then why aren’t they following his example when he returned to Mecca? Ingat nabi dibaling batu dan pelepah ketika dihalau mushrikin Mekah. Marahnya seorang malaikat sehingga dia bertanya bolehkah dia menterbalikkan bumi dan membunuh mushrikin ini. Nabi kata tidak. Bila baginda pulang untuk menawan Mekah adakah nabi menyerang orang awam dan membalas dendam akibat dilontar batu? What we seeing now is people justifying killing non combatant because the Jews killed non combatant. What do we know about revenge taking? It only perpetuates the problem instead of solving it. Peace DUDES.

What can we learn from this story and this very TL:DR entry?

1. Penentangan bersenjata untuk pembebasan Palestin gagal. Sudah 30 tahun lebih ia dilakukan dan ianya hanya menaikkan kemarahan orang bukan Islam. Ini bertentangan dengan niat asal untuk memberi tahu dunia yang mereka ditindas.

2. Hamas bukanlah insan suci tak bersalah. Mereka SENGAJA meletakkan senjata dan markas di tempat awam. Dengan adanya orang awam bolehlah dapat perisai daging manusia. Kalau ada yang mati boleh digunakan sebagai alat merekrut lebih banyak pejuang Hamas kelak

3. Mungkin kita harus guna cara passive resistance dan civil disobedience ala Mahatma atau Martin Luther King. Orang India dibunuh inggeris. Orang kulit hitam pulak dihambat pak putih ketika pergerakan “civil rights” di US. Mereka tidak membalas kekejaman dengan kekejaman. Akibatnya “popular opinion” memihak mereka.

4. Pertelingakahan di Palestin sudah berlarutan ribuan tahun. Kamu tak bosan ke asik bermatian semata-mata nak tunjuk agama kamu lagi kick ass? Stop this nonsense. It only reinforce the idea that religion divide people instead of uniting them. It is a shame how Jews and Muslims share loads of commonalities but still fight like Kane and Abel.

Dah.. I hope you read this long shit. I spend hours typing it and doing the research. Dan aku menulis dalam bahasa kebangsaan. Perlahan sunguh bila menaip dan lebih perlahan lagi ketika cuba membina ayat. Maka tolonglah baca supaya aku tak menyesal menulis panjang-panjang.

p/s: Mr. Ambassador, you have nearly a hundred naval vessels operating in the North Atlantic right now. Your aircraft has dropped enough sonar buoys so that a man could walk from Greenland to Iceland to Scotland without getting his feet wet. Now, shall we dispense with the bull?

Serius FOA - The Neil Armstrong Is A Muslim Mythbusted

Time to bust this famous myth

Fifty years on and the biggest myth of all is not that the moon landing is fake (busted in Mythbusters last year BTW). The biggest myth surrounding the moon landing to me is the Neil Armstrong is a Muslim.

So what's the myth? The story goes a little something like this;

"When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon he started exploring the lunar surface for geological samples. While jumping around in almost zero gravity he found a large trench that seems to go on forever. While inspecting the trench he started hearing someone singing in his earpiece. After a while the singing ceased and he was sure that was just radio interference coming from earth. Fast forward a few years later while on holiday in Egypt, he was shocked to hear the same song in Cairo. He then tried to find the source of this singing and suddenly realised that the "singing" was actually the Muezzin calling for prayers. He then met the imam and told him about his experience on the moon. The imam told him that the Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) once split the moon in half. Neil converted to Islam then and there. NASA and the USA was furious that the first man on the moon converted to Islam. He was subsequently kicked out of the space programme and revoked of his ambassadorial privileges. This is why he is no longer in the public eye. The US hates Muslims "

This story is quite famous in the 80’s. Back then we don’t have Wikipedia or Answers.com to verify the story. The story was told to me by a school teacher and naturally I believe everything that he said. I mean, would a teacher lied to me? Seriously! A couple of days ago I stumbled upon this story again through an email. After all this years I totally forgot all about it. With the power of the internet I decided to investigate this Myth just like Jamie and Adam from Mythbusters!

Your Photoshop skill is WEAK

First of all let’s discuss the “trench on the moon” part of the story. Anyone can Google the surface of the moon from their PC (or Mac for you Apple snobs!) these days. Just click here and look at the landing area for Apollo 11 yourself. Can you see any trenches there? Sorry people but the trench on the moon myth is busted. Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) might have cleaved the moon in half,but no trenches can be found where the moon fused back together. So this busted the first part of the Myth.

How about his “disappearance” from the late 70’s until now? This is easily explainable to be honest. Neil shied away from the limelight when he feared that his celebrity status might harm the space programme. Even back then there are people who think the space and moon exploration was a complete waste of funds. He decided to stop making public appearances so that people will concentrate on the scientific aspect of NASA’s programmes. He further shied away from public when he found out that people are making money out of his memorabilia. His signed autograph can fetch thousand of dollars on EBay. As a result he no longer signs autograph these days. This bust the myth that he was sacked from NASA when in fact he voluntarily shied away from making public appearances. Second part of the myth busted!

The best way to bust this myth is obviously to ask tuan punya badan himself. Back in 2005, Armstrong visited Malaysia for the Global Leadership Forum. He was asked about this by a journalist. This was his answer;

So there you have it folks. A myth that has been going around since I was about 8 years old is finally BUSTED. So please stop spreading this myth to your kids. Personally I think the myth was created because the Muslim world was lacking any positive role models at that time. Not surprisingly this myth resurfaced just in time for the 40th anniversary and at a time where the most famous Muslim in the world is Osama ben Laden. This shows how we desperately need a positive Muslim role model to look up to. Coincidently this is why the MJ rumour also started as well. After seeing how millions looked up to him some Muslims decide to take him as ONE OF OURS. Roll back around 5 years ago we have another equally stupid rumour. At a time when Pottermania was at it peak, emails started circulating that Emma Watson converted to Islam. This coincided with the time where she threatened to quit the franchise over pay dispute. Instead of the pay dispute the rumour claimed that she refuse to star in future Potter movie due to its “Satanic content”. A few weeks later another rumour came out this time claiming that Emma was killed by her parents because she refuse to revert to Christianity! As Ronald Weasley might say;

“Bloody hell! That was mental!”

What can we learn from today’s moon themed entry? Rumours and myths are created for the lulz. Everyone love a good conspiracy theory but in the age where Google is your friend please think twice before forwarding that email!

IN B4 ILLUMINATI JEWS OWNS THE INTERWEBS

Other sources to debunk this Myth

Armstrong Myth Debunked

p/s : Christopher Columbus, Charles Lindbergh, and Neil Armstrong. Ha, ha, ha. Neil Armstrong!

Serius FOA - How Malaysia Can Help in Gaza

Let’s help them with some uniquely Malaysian solution!

Banyak orang sudah memberi bantuan kemanusian kepada warga Gaza. Tapi lets be honest here ladies and gents. Those bundles of gauze and anti bacterial swab are useless when you have phosphorous shell burning your ass. The gauze might even catch fire thus increasing your odds of dying a fiery death. The alcohol anti-bac swab will just fuel the phosphorous even more. So why don’t Malaysia send something unique for the cause. Give the Gazan something that is uniquely Malaysian and will make a difference in this “war”

As a child growing up my kampong, I often heard of mystical tales about my ancestors. There were tales of three legged tiger prowling my grandpa's lawn when no one is at home. There are also stories of holy man going to Mecca riding a banana leaf. As the story goes this holy wan wanted to go to Mecca but can't afford the ticket for the trip. So he sat on a banana leaf and prayed. Lo and behold he found himself in Mecca and was able to perform his hajj that year. In all the variations of this "banana leaf" story, I never heard anyone told me how he got back to Malaysia. My best guess is he probably rode on a palm tree of something like that. I also heard numerous tales on how silat masters and their disciple became invincible during the racial riots. In one comics strip that I read in Fantasia (a magazine produced by creative enterprise.. the makers of Gila-Gila), these warriors but two didn’t suffer any injury even when they were ambushed by samurai sword wielding mob. The two that was injured died because they ate some durian before the battle. Apparently you cannot eat durian or your armour rating will decrease by -89.

So that got me thinking. Why don’t we send our supernatural shit to Gaza. They probably have enough gauzes by now. Let's give them something that could be used to fight back! Here are some of the things we could send to help them fight!

TOYOLS

Quit stealing from the villagers you greedy little bastards! Why don’t you use your stealth stealing skills to steal vital intelligence information from the enemy. Maybe we can use the Toyol to find confidential documents on the weak spots of the Markava tank and gaps in their defensive lines. Better still lets create a battalion of Toyols and order them to raid the Israeli’s weapon and fuel depot. This would stop them from shelling the Gazan overnight. The weapons would then be used against them. Let’s see how they like to have some phosphorous shell for breakfast! Can you take the heat? I heard that Bagels taste nice with some lead and rubber bullets in them. Makes them chewier!


SANTAU

So they like shooting from 30 000 feet don’t they. Love looking through an LCD sight and dropping missiles from afar don’t you! Well let’s get fucking even. We Malays also have our own tried and tested long distance killing system. Santau is the Malay equivalent of a surgical strike weapon. You can target specific member of the Israel Defence Force generals. Without a leader an army will be useless and would soon collapse. While we are at it why don’t we Santau the entire Knesset for the LULZ! It will make brilliant TV to see all the member of the Knesset start puking blood, hair, glass shards and rusted nails on CNN. They will start wondering what “biological weapons” did the Hamas used to kill them all!


PENANGGALS

The birth rate in Israel is patheticly low. The Palestinian mothers produce more babies per year than your average Israeli mother. But the Palestinian mother are also more likely yo lose their children than an Israeli mother. It's understandable that the Arabs make sure they make enough babies just in case some of them “accidentally” walked into the path of a stray bullet or missiles. The birth rate is so low that they have to import Jews from all over the world to make sure the Israel state will be sustainable. Let’s use the Penanggals to suck the life out of Israelis mothers. HAHAHAH. Imagine sending 1000 Penanggals per night and causing mass stillborns in Israel. It will also make for some interesting video footage. remember when the war in Iraq started we saw anti aircraft tracers illuminating the sky? When the penanggal fly in to look for their victim, their blinking bellies will look like flying globules of light. First they will be AWED by the beautiful flying lights before being SHOCKED to see flying heads in their maternal wards! SHOCK AND AWE MOTHERFUCKERS!

Last but not least. Our secret weapon!

MINYAK PENGASIH/DAGU

This is the most important aid we can give to the Gazans and Israelis. These two sons of Abraham have been fighting for eons. They hate each other so much that the chance of peace is close to none. Lets drown the hate and replace it with love. Launch a massive minyak pengasih/dagu aerial bombardment all over Palestine and Israel. They will immidietly stop hating each other. With their new found love there is no reason for them to be on high alert anymore. Maybe they will even learn to share the holy sites for once. You know what? forget about all the stuffs that I wrote earlier. We must now mass produce minyak pengasih and send them in Gallon jars (balang orang balik Haji bawak air zam zam!) to the Middle East as soon as possible. Why use it only on janda anak 5 when world peace is the more pertinent matter! Stop the hate. Love each other! When we learn to love hate won’t be an issue. Peace in Palestine and Israel. Solidarity and coexistence is the way to go. I implore Dato' Seri Abdullah Badawi to launch Kempen Mintak Pengasih Kebangsaan now. We will be THE nation that saved the world from the faggotry that is the Palestinian-Israeli conflict!

AMEN to that!

NOTE: Thanks for SYZWN for the bringing out Israel during YM. LOL

p/s :The ignorance of everyday people killed my son.

Picture Credit :

• Toyol and Anak Kruak - Copyright Kumpulan Utusan
• Santau - Google Images
• Penanggal - www.Hopedraws.com
• Minyak Pengasih - http://www.b1ness.com

Serius FOA - Abang Angkat, Akak Angkat ,Adik Angkat

Angkat pegi mana bro?

Kes kereta menjunam macam filem Michael Bay di Kota Bharu haritu buat aku perasan satu benda. Yang bawak kereta ialah adik angkat kepada si peminjam kereta. Yep, kereta tu kereta pinjam dari kawan. Kereta turbo siap sports rim dan spoiler tuh. Tapi tayar semuanya botak. Kah kah Kah. Bodoh punya meleis. Banyak sangat drifting kot? Dekat Kota Bharu jalan tak sebok sangat so boleh drift sampai tayar botak macam kepala Zaibo. HAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway budak yang “menjunamkan” kereta tu baru 17 tahun. Abang angkat si peminjam kereta pulak umurnya 27 tahun. Sekali bersama dengan dia masa tu ialah adik si penjunam berumur 14 tahun. Aku aneh. Apasal tua sangat abang angkat dia ni? Ye ke abang angkat? Ke paedophile nak simpan awek muda tapi bertopengkan abang angkat je lebih? Masa gua kat sekolah dulu biasa la budak form 5 amik adik angkat. Kononnya nak jadi contoh dan rakan kounseling. Kalau keluar bandar belikan A&W Mozza Burger untuk adik angkat. Bila adik angkat demam dia belikan Panadol. Sanggup passing passing Panadol dekat dewan makan tunjuk dia concern (Padahal nak satu dewan makan nampak dia kononnnya caring nak mampos). Akak angkat pun ada gak. Selalunya budak batch yang hensem dan anak orang kaya banyak akak angkats. Same goes to adik angkat perempuan lah. Kalau cantik ada aje abang angkat. Kadang kala bertumbuk abang-abang pasal nak jadi the ONLY abang akak si awek cantik. Macam Highlander la pulak. In the end there could be only one!

Persoalannya kenapa nak lie to yourself? Kenapa struggle nak ngaku engkau hanya sekadar ANGKAT kepada someone. Kalau dalam benak hati yang tidak kudus tu memang dah pasang niat nak jadikan awek/balak ngaku aje la.

“Aku memang suka dengan Nik Shahidah.. tapi dia junior. Aku amik jadi adik angkat lah. At least boleh mendekati”

Makan bontot la weih! Apa ke sengal main angkat-angkat. Ini euphemism seksual mana lak ni? Angkat masuk bilik? Angkat ketika posisi seksual berdiri? Angkat kain masuk jari? Angkat baju seluk dada? Itu ke maksud tersirat “angkat” dalam abang/akak angkat. Coincidentally "angkat" ialah bahasa pasar untuk "beli". Bila beli barang dari taukeh cina mesti kita cakap;

"Gua mau angkat ini komputer liao. Berapa lu bole bagi boss!"

Jadi bolehlah aku assume yang abang dan adik angkat tak lebih dari hubungan jual beli. Lu beli gua hadiah gua akan layan lu sampai lu graduate.So takdelah lu lonely sangat pasal tak ada awek betul. Korang setuju?

Yang di angkat seperti aku cakap tadi semuanya yang hot stuff. Yang mengangkat pulak semuanya muka macam Latif Borgiba dan Rosnah Mat Aris. Mesti punya. Jangan tipu la. Aku yakin korang pun perasan. Paling butoh sekali bila artis Meleis angkat mengangkat antara satu sama lain;

“Hubungan saya dan Eizraz Fazrinaz Qistina tak lebih daripada hubungan seorang abang dan adik”

Eat shit la sial. Mungkin betul kot dia cakap macam hubungan abang dan adik. Tapi hubungan abang dan adik dikalangan rednecks. Dengan kata lain hubungan incest! HAHAHAHA.

Aku pernah nak kena angkat masa muda belia dulu. Zaman takde perot gendot dan masih kachak (gaya Sayuti eja kacak). Sekarang sudah gendots dan muka seperti Mat Over memang takde nak angkat aku lagi. Cuba la angkat. Patah pinggang je!

Tapi aku salahkan yang diangkat jugak. Nak kata "sorry saya tak minat" kesian pulak tengok ada tenuk yang terkinja-kinja dengan kita ye tak? Bagi hadiah mahal masa birthday. Dapat makanan free bila dia outing. Bila dia habis SPM dia pass kat kita soalan SPM dia. Siap riben merah dan kad good luck untuk SPM tahun depan. Siapa nak tolak kan? Yang mengangkat pulak ambik this as a sign that dia still ada harapan nak ngorat yang diangkat.

“Oh minggu lepas Danial Ezran makan satu je kuih apam yang aku beli untuk dia. Minggu ni dia kata dia makan 5 bijik apam. Adakah dia semakin meminatiku?.. oh Danial Ezran ku!”

Padahal Danial Ezran mintak lebih pasal budak dorm mate dia dah menganjing every week asik makan sorang. So dia pun mintak apam lebih untuk dishare bersama rakan satu dorm. Makan free bersama-sama. Yang akak angkat pulak clueless dan masih mendamba cinta yang tak akan kunjung tiba. Kesian kena guna dengan yang diangkat. Agaknya yang menjadi pengangkat memang suka kena guna atau jenis yang easily manipulated. Dek kerana nak sangat bercinta dari orang kacak dan cantik sanggup perabis duit. Bila dah habis study apa pun tak dapat. Lebih-lebih pun posing lepas majlis graduasi sambil memegang bunga. Lepas tu cuci gambar layan jiwan sorang-sorang. Bodoh! HAHAHHAAH!

p/s : Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.

Serius FOA - Surau Dalam Pusat Beli Belah : Kenapa Tiada Yang Senonoh?

Masalah lama yang masih tiada penghujungnya

Kita bangga negara Islam kini mempunyai bangunan tertinggi di dunia. Kita juga bakal bangga dengan menara jam tertinggi didunia besebelahan Masjidil Haram. Kita kagum melihat KLCC tesergam indah di tengah Kuala Lumpur. Bangunan serba moden dan canggih terbina disebuah negara yang belum mencapai tahap negara maju. Siapa yang pernah ke Dubai akan menceritakan betapa selesanya sistem pengangkutan di sana. Mereka pasti tak henti-henti memuji betapa cantiknya Burj Dubai dan The Palm.

Tidak dapat dinafikan sejak 20 tahun kebelakangan ini, banyak bagunan mega canggih dan hebat senibinanya dibina di atas bumi negara orang-orang Islam. Ibu saya pun kagum melihat perubahan Kota Makkah sejak kali terakhir kesana menunanikan hajil awal 90an yang lalu. Jika dulu beliau terpaksa berpanas ketika bersolat di Masjidil Haram, kini sudah ada sistem kipas yang berputar secara automatik bila cuaca mencecah suhu tertentu. Bak kata ibu saya;

"Sekarang pergi haji lebih selesa dan senang dari dulu.Boleh concentrate nak beribadat sahaja. Tak perlu risau lagi dah"

Despite of these modern architectural wonders in the Muslim world, one thing haven't changed. At least in Malaysia the problem have yet to be solved.

Have you noticed that despite the awesome advancement in the world architecture, we have yet to solve the problem of suraus smelling like feet. We now have concrete mix that is lighter yet with higher tensile strength than the ones used 10 years ago. We now have mobiles with more processing power than a PC but those damp carpets inside the prayer rooms are still as wet as it was back i1998n ! We now have malls with butler services , luxury boutiques, personal shopper services and the best gizmos imported from Cupertino but the suraus in these PRESTIGIOUS LUXURY MALLS are still hidden away next to the motherfucking toilet.

Now let's talk about the first problem in this entry. The other problems regarding suraus will be discussed in the days to come. I want to keep it short so none of you fuckers will complain that it is TL:DR

QUESTION ONE : Why can't we solve the problem of suraus smelling like feet and the persistent dampness?

It was there when I was ten years old at Plaza Peladang Kedah and it's still here when I went to the surau at ONE UTAMA a few days back. In contrast the toilet next to the surau changed drastically since OU was opened more than 15 years ago. The porcelain tiles were replaced with marbles ones. I must say the toilets in most new shopping malls look better than the ones in 3 Star Hotels.The stalls are now roomier and a Bangladeshi chap is stationed there all the time to make sure the floor is always dry. This is a far cry from the dank, waterlogged and smelly toilet that is was just 5 years ago. Best of all I no longer have to pay for the "pleasure" of using the horrible toilet.

ON A SIDE NOTE

Kenapa tandas berbayar keadaannya lebih MOTHERFUCKING SHIT dari tandas free? Bukankah tandas berbayar seharusnya lebih terjaga? Have you guys tried using the toilet inside Hentian Puduraya before? A few years ago before it was closed for renovation, I had an awesome urge to take a shit there (I was picking up my sister). Went to the toilet, paid the 20 cents entrance fee and went to look for an empty stall. First one was clogged with solid shit encrusted inside the toilet bowl like dried Milo. The second one does not have a functioning flush. A brown floating turd bobbed on the surface of rancid yellow piss. The third one is just a little bit cleaner than the toilet from Trainspotting

I really need to take a shit but I lost the nafsu to berak then and there. Ran out while at the same time squeezing my sphincter all the way to the Nandos next to Puduraya. Went into the loo and I let it rip. It was still the best shit I ever had. It went out in one awesome explosion that would make the dudes on Jackass happy. You'll never know how awesome an invention a sitting toilet connected to a sewage system is until you are denied one at a very crucial shitting moment.

ANYWAY

The surau in OU in contrast barely changed. They changed the carpeting, repaint it and the ablution area was retiled. But despite of this NOT MUCH have changed architecturally. One walks into the surau, buka kasut, walked on the sticky plastic mesh (with slime mold on them) and then proceed to the prayer hall.

Does anyone else find the smell disturbing. I mean Islam is a religion that puts a lot of premium on cleanliness. I don't think "cleanliness" is the thing that pops into your head when you visit the suraus in the shopping mall. If you are not a Muslim and you accidentally walked into a surau you might have the impression that Muslims love praying in molding and stinking prayer rooms.

SO HOW DO WE SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?

The main reason why the surau's are so smelly is due to the lack of air circulation. Suraus in Malaysia are always designed as an afterthought. I can't blame the architect though because MOST SHOPPING MALLS are not owned or designed by Muslims. Usually they just choose an empty room tucked away in a corner somewhere and convert that into a surau. 90% of the time these surau have no windows. So what happened when you have wet feet and zero air circulation going on for years? You will have that unmistakable smell of fermented feet juice.

The only two places I know where the inclusion of a surau was not an afterthought is KLCC and Alamanda Putrajaya. In these two KLCCB owned malls, the surau's design was carefully thought after. The suraus there are not rooms converted haphazardly at the very last minute. To the people who designed these 2 suraus I must say thank you for making them one of the most comfortable surau in Malaysia. I just dunno why no other malls that was designed after KLCC and Alamanda was finished didn't just copy paste the design.

Personally speaking I think we could reduce the problem of smelly feet by doing away with the closed designed of the surau.Firstly I suggest all future surau do away with the solid brick walls. Instead make it an open design. Tear down the walls and replace it with wooden lattice. This will automatically increase the air circulation.

Secondly install one of the floor air blower at the ablution area. Better yet maybe design a "feet dryer" where warm air is pumped on the feet of the people coming out of the ablution area into the prayer hall. The carpet will still get a wee bit wet but it wont be as drenched as it is now.

Thirdly it is all down to you and me. Maybe next time when you are taking wudu' make sure shake off as many access water dripping off from your body. I've seen pakciks drenching himself while taking wudu' and they walk straight into the prayer hall.

Sure I heard the story before. Most muslims wont dry off the water from taking the wudu' because apparently "dosa kecil terhapus keluar dengan setiap titik air wudu yang menitis". I dunno how legit this story is but I remember hearing it as a kid.

After the pakcik finished praying, I saw a human shaped puddle on the carpet! There are not many Muslims who own shopping malls. The non Muslim owners will never feel obliged to make the prayer rooms for Muslims more comfortable. I am willing to bet that most of them never even saw the inside of the suraus in their own building. I also reckon they don't even know the current design lead to accumulation of mold and odour.

When we cannot force building owners to design or modified the current surau to be less smelly. maybe we must then modify ourselves. Dry off your feet as much as humanly possible before walking into the prayer hall.

Kalau itu also tak boleh buat maybe its about time we stop using carpets inside surau. Just put lantai jubin like the ones we put inside kitchens.

What do you guys think? What can be done to improve the design of the suraus inside the shopping malls. Thanks for reading

p/s : I helped build missiles. I helped protect this country. You should be rewarded for that. But instead they give it to the plastic surgeons, you know they lied to me.

KREDIT GAMBAR

• Syahazhar Fotopages
• Yunusbadawi

Serius FOA - Kemusnahan Mekah Dan Madinah : Mengapa Dibiarkan Sahaja?

Serious

Entry sebelum ini memunjukkan pelan masa depan kompleks Masjidil Haram untuk 2020 and beyond. Dari apa yang kita boleh lihat struktur ikonik MH akan dimusnhakan untuk memberi laluan kepada rekaan model lebih kontemporari yang dihasilkan firma jurubina Atkins. Pemusnahan bangunan MH yang dibina oleh kerajaan Ottoman ini meneriman tentangan ramai pihak terutamanya ahli arkaelogi yang merasakan kerajaan Saudi merosakkan struktur bersejarah Islam tanpa mempedulikan kesannya. Pihak Saudi memberi alasan bangunan binaan kerajaan Ottoman ini mempunyai rekaan bida'ah/syirik kerana terdapat ukiran nama sahabat. Selain itu juga terdapat perancangan untuk memusnahkan stukutur kubah Masjid Nabawi sekarang kerana ia juga dikatakan tidak cukup Islamik. Kenapa tidak cukup islamik? Kerana kubah hijau yang menutupi makam Rasulullah juga dikatakan bida'ah. Kubur tidak boleh mempunyai tanda mengikut fahaman Wahhabi. Kuburan Saidina Umar dan Abu Bakar yang disemadikan bersebelahan makan Rasulullah juga akan dimusnahkan suatu hari nanti.

Persoalan diatas membawa kepada soalan yang akan aku tanyakan seterusnya;

"Mengapa hanya pihak SAUDI mempunyai hak membentuk arah tuju Mekah dan Madinah?"

"Kenapa tiada persetujuan diambil terlebih dahulu sebelum projek pembinaan/pemusnahan ini dilakukan?"

"Haruskah Mekah dan Madinah di jadikan sebuah negara baru seperti Vatican instead of di bawah jajahan keluarga Al Saud"

Mari aku explain sedikit mengapa aku bertanyakan soalan di atas;

Kesemua projek naik taraf dan pembangunan di kedua-dua kota suci Islam ini dilakukan di bawah arahan Sultan Arab Saudi. Yes aku paham beliau ialah "Penjaga Dua Masjid Utama". Keyword disini ialah PENJAGA dan bukannya TUAN PUNYA. Di dalam Islam sendiri kita sedia maklum wujud konsep MUSYAWARAH. Jadi mengapa tiada musyawarah dilakukan diantara kesemua pemimpin negara Islam untuk membincangkan hala tuju permodenan Mekah dan Madinah? Pihak Saudi nampaknya sangat autokratik dalam menbuat keputusan permodenan. Their way is the only way. All other way can go to hell.

Kemudian semua projek pembinaan diberikan kepada firma Saudi Bin Ladin Group. Kita semua sedia maklum bila seseorang Muslim itu menderma kepada pembinaan sebuah Masjid/Surau/Tanah Wakaf, pahala dari pemberian mereka itu akan berterusan sehingga hari kiamat. Kenapakah keluarga Al Saud dan Bin Ladin MENTAPAU kesemua hak untuk mendapatkan a piece of the two holy places all to themselves? Adakah kerana mereka tahu dosa duniawi mereka besar dan hanya dengan membina Masjidil Haram dan Nabawi moden mereka dapat menebusnya di akhirat kelak? Ini persoalan yang aku rasa agak pelik. Kenapa tidak banyak pemimpin Muslim yang berani menegur monopoli "pahala dan saham akhirat" untuk kerabat dan kroni mereka sendiri? Hanya Presiden Turki dan Iran yang mempunyai gonad untuk mempersoalkan kemusnahan bangunan bersejarah Islam di Kota Mekah dan Madinah yang sedang giat dilakukan kerajaan Saudi. Mereka juga membantah pengkomersilan melampau yang berlaku di Mekah.

Contoh pengkomersilan melampau ialah Raffles Makkah Palace, hotel mewah siap dengan BUTLER yang terletak bersebelahan Masjidil Haram. Menara jam gergasi yang ada sekarang pula rata-rata dipersetujui distract the attentions of pilgrims away from the Kaabah. Saya yakin anda pasti bersetuju bahawa tarikan utama Mekah sepatutnya ialah untuk beribadah dan melihat Kaabah. Bukannya pergi hotel mewah dan jam gergasi tertinggi di dunia. Agak ironik rumah nabi, sahabat, makam isteri-isteri nabi dan telaga nabi dimusnahkan kerana "bida'ah" dan di atas tapak yang diratakan di bina Starbucks, Marks and Spencer, Raflles Hotel dan McDonalds.

Foto : Hotter than a Pile of Curry

Don't tell me that you don't think this is wrong in so many levels. How can you justify leveling building that have so many historical significance in Islam and replacing them with major WESTERN capitalist symbols? Where is the logic? Anyone can explain this to me in the comment section?

Foto :UstazHajiMansor

Antara kesan yang nyata akibat permodenan Mekkah dan Madinah ialah kos untuk menunaikan haji serta umrah menjadi terlalu mahal. Ini mengakibatkan umat Islam yang sepatutnya sudah mampu menunaikan haji terpaksa mengumpul lebih banyak wang untuk memenuhi rukun Islam ke 5. Ibu bapa aku yang baru pulang umrah mengeluh Mekah yang mereka lawati pada tahun 1993 ketika menunaikan Haji dahulu sudah hilang. Menurut mereka pengkomersilan yang melampau membuatkan Mekah terasa seperti seakan sebuah theme park dan bukan lagi tempat untuk beribadat kepada Allah. Salah siapa kalau bukan umat Islam sendiri yang memberikan keluarga Al Saudi carte blance untuk melakukan apa yang mereka suka. Kalau berani bersuara kuota Haji negara akan dikurangkan oleh Al Saud and Co. Islamik kah ini? Adakah ini perangai Custodian of The Two Holy Mosque? Blackmailing other Muslim countries with reduced Hajj quote if they dared speak up against them?

Foto : Construction Week

Last but not least mungkin lebih baik jika Makkah dan Madinah menjadi mini country seperti Vatican dimana penjaganya digantikan mengikut undian umat Islam. That way tak ada one person yang boleh buat keputusan sesuka hati. Ini juga akan membebaskan Mekah dari menjadi bargaining chip keluarga Al Saud untuk mendesak negara Islam lain untuk menutup mulut mereka atau dikurangkan kuota.

Now I have to admit the things that I just proposed is not something that can be easily realised. The Muslim world is too fragmented for these ideas to work at this moment. But surely if you believe that ISLAM is the light, the one true religion we can make a change to save the two holy cities before it is totally raped and destroyed.

Saya sarankan Dato Seri Najib Razak mengutarakan idea ini di dalam mesyuarat OIC kelak. Kami percaya Dato Seri bolehj menjadi hero SELURUH UMAT ISLAM dan bukan hanya jaguh semua umat Melayu Islam Malaysia. Dato Seri Najiblah satu-satunya pemimpin dunia yang mempunyai ketokohan, karisma. jati diri, Mana, XP, Dragon Breath serta gravitas yang mencukupi bagi mencadangkan idea yang saya nyatakan di atas. Saya yakin jika Dato Seri cadangkan pemimpin negara Islam lain pasti bersetuju dengan segera kerana mengikut laporan Utusan, Berita Harian, The Star, Sin Chew Jit Poh, Majalah Didik dan URTV kepimpinan Dato Seri amat dikagumi semua pemimpin dunia.

Please Dato Seri Najib.,... kami mahukan lebih dari 1Malaysia. Idea bernas Dato Seri sepatutnya diguna pakai seluruh umat Islam dunia. Semoga 1Mekah, 1Madinahdan dan 1Islam menjadi kenyataan. You can do it sir! Unite Islam under one banner for all of us. Malaysian Boleh.

Foto : Harian Metro

Serius FOA - Toppling The Government Using Salt And Water : Ghandi Did It Last Century

ORIGINALLY POSTED 8 MARCH 2009 - How demos and protest left an indelible mark on human history

Some say street protests are a waste of space and human energy. Others believe that since Malaysia is not as bad as Somalia and Libya , we should shut the fuck up and take it up the ass. That got me thinking. What would the world look like if a few historical protests were clamped down before it were started. Time to dove your thinking hats (thinking kippah for the Hebrews) and dig deep into human history in the past 100 years. It’s going to be one of my infamous boring historical blog entry! Look away now if you refuse to be bored shitless.

Obviously one of the most famous protests ever done was orchestrated by one frail and bald chap from India. He also loves wearing a Dhoti and carries a walking stick like Yoda. This Indian fella is none other than one Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi a.k.a Mahatma Gandhi a.k.a The Non Jew Version of Ben Kingsley. Gandhi invented the template for the non-violent movement. Gandhi believed that starving his skinny ass to death and just being uncooperative to the Brits are equally as effective as picking up weapons and murdering those posh white bastards. He organised plenty of street protests that fought for the rights of Indians in India.

In 1930 Gandhi led thousands in the Salt Satyagraha, a campaign of non-violent protest against the British salt tax in colonial India. Yes folks, Gandhi led a street demo for 24 days, across 4 districts and 48 villages over taxation on SALTS! That’s sodium chloride... the same thing that A R Tompel refused to accept as a gift in Ahmad Albab! And you motherfuckers complained that people demo-ed against ISA? I wonder what would they comment on Gandhi’s Stayagraha if was organised today in Kuala Lumpur? Probably this?

“Bodo punya keling botak! Pasal garam pun nak protes ke? Aku nak beli garam letak dalam ikan masin pun susah pasal keling kurus cicak kobeng ni! Semua kedai tutup. Jangan demo boleh? Need salted fish now! Hidup kerajaan British! Sepak Gandhi babi!”

The Satyagraha is a brilliant move by Gandhi. It showed the British how Indians would rise against the small matter of salt taxation. Just imagine how big the protest from Indians over other matters would be like . The Satyagraha campaign of the 1930s also forced the British to recognize that their control of India depended entirely on the consent of Indians — Salt Satyagraha was a significant step in the British losing that consent. All in all Gandhi non violent protest and civil disobedience was an inspiration to another famous civil liberty icon, one Dr Martin Luther King Junior (MLK) of Atlanta Georgia

Simply put without Gandhi’s 24 day walkabout all around India,the concept of peaceful protest will not even exist. Coincidentally the way we achieved Merdeka will also be different too since Tunku was also INSPIRED by the Mahatma Gandhi. I did mentioned Martin Luther King right? Well he was involved in yet another famous street protest.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with MLK’s “I have a dream speech”. That speech was delivered during the famous march to Washington to support President’s Kennedy new civil rights legislation. Technically you can say that the march is a street protest against racism in America. The 60’s was a very volatile time in American history with African American getting lynched in the South. The bill passed by the congress guaranteed the right of "coloured people" as equal to their white counterparts. It’s the end of the American version of NEP! HAHAH. Also the "I have a dream" speech was a major inspiration for generations of Americans. Here is an excerpt from that speech;

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character”

In Malaysia we often hear the leaders talk about equality and justice but they never elaborate on what their interpretation of equality and justice. What MLK did in his speech was explaining what EQUALITY really means. The right not to be judged by the colour of your skin and we are all equal in the eyes of god (or the flying spaghetti monster if you are an atheist). It is also important to point out that if the march didn’t received an overwhelming response from the public, it will be seen as a vote against the civil rights bill. The America that we know today will definitely be different. I reckon Barry H Obama could not even be a manager in a white owned company, let alone the 44th President of the United States if it was not for this monumental march to Washington. On a more musical note, the black and white collaboration between Dre and Eminem will also never happened! Imagine a world without "Forget About Dre" and "My Name Is". That is a world not worth living

Last but not least is the protest against Condoleezza Rice led by Yang Terkacak Menantu Hensem Khairy Jamaluddin. In this historical demo we finally see Khairy showing the world that he got the cajones to defy the US secretary of state. It also proved that street protest IS in fact part of the UMNO culture (this was denied multiple times by his daddy in law) Without this protest people would still question Khairy's ability to whip a mob into frenzy . But most importantly it gave us a glimpse of KJ's “O-Face”. What a sexy beast! LOLOLOLOLOL11111111!!!!111

So? What do you guys think? Are street protests really that EVIL?

p/s : Attention to orders. I have a presentation to make. For service above and beyond the call of duty of a tourist, or even a Marine, we recognize Professor John Patrick Ryan, with the Order of the Purple Target.

PICTURE CREDIT

• WIKIPEDIA - The citation needed website
• The Star

Serius FOA - Tadika, Nasyid and Mind Control

The right to reply

A little storm in a tea cup incident occurred yesterday when i posted;

"Little kids singing nasyid is bizarro and fake"

Well allow me to just explore this topic. Kanak-kanak bawah umur mudah dilentur mindanya. Semudah Yuri dari Red Alert2 mengawal minda konskrip pihak lawan untuk berpaling tadah dan menjadi unit tentera Soviet.

When I was young I was in a Tadika ran by Al Arqam. Part of the syllabus in tadika was singing religious nasyid song. I was a wee lad of six and I knew nothing about having an opinions and naive enough to believe that adults are not always right. So we sang song about putting our lives on the line in the name of fisabilillah and jihad. We sang about the glory of the heavens for Martyr should be found ourselves killed by the infidels. We also sang about god is great and he will justly destroy those infidel bastards. While we are not afraid of dying in the name of Allah, we are also assured that since we are fighting in the right side we are most likely will not die due to Allah protection.

I was only 6 years old and I did believe that the lyrics of those nasyid are fucking legit. My mind was programmed to believe that dying in the name of Allah is something that we all should look forward to

Therein lies the problem. When I was in tadika it was in the early 80's and the Soviet-Afghanistan war was in full swing. I remember sitting in class dreaming of killing Soviets in the name of Allah. I was six years old. Don't any of you find this weird or morally wrong? All thanks to the "innocent" Nasyid song that we all sang at the tadika.

If you do some readings on your own you will be shocked to hear that Al Qaeda is using the exact same method to recruit underage boys into their Suicide Bomber squads. Some of the kids lucky enough to be rescued form these suicide school told reporters that they are told from a very young age that dying is awesome. Killing yourself is not a sin when you are talking a garrison full of infidels along with you.

Kids know fuck all about life. They are easily manipulated by adults with their own agenda.

Remember when you were in school back in the days? How you guys are brought up to believe that the government will do everything in the best intention of the rakyat. You guys remember how Mahathir is portrayed as the Uber-Malaysianmensch for single handedly transforming Malaysia? While this is true we also gloss over the "unsavory" things he did on the flip side.

We sang SETIA every day to instill loyalty to the Agong, Malaysia and our Barisan Nasional leaders.

How many of you feel slightly stupid for believing all that shit when you were young?

I know I did.

I am also angry that as a child the adults that were supposed to be responsible for molding me into a functional teenager use their position of power to force their views on me. I find it irresponsible that Muslim kids as young as 6 years old are told believe that dying is awesome. Killing infidels is even more awesome. This is why I said videos of kids singing nasyid are bizarro and fake.

How many of you guys can honestly say they are mature enough to make their own mind about the "truth" of religion at this age?

The mind of a child should not be poisoned with vile nasyid that expilicitly glorify violence of death. Last time I checked ALL MUSLIMS claims that Islam is the RELIGION OF PEACE. If this is the case why do you subject your minors to songs about wanting to be a SYAHEED and "mementang musuh Allah yang mahu menjatuhkan Islam" at such an young age? Again I say this practice is morally abhorrent and should not be tolerated especially in this day and age.

The whole point of posting the Christian religious video is to make you guys see how weird it is in the eye of an outsider. Now try watching that video again but this time change the lyrics to

"I will kill the infidels in the name of Jesus and I will gladly die in his honour so I will be resurrected in his kingdom"

What do you think? Still think the video is funny or silly? If you hear young Christian kids singing this song at a local church how would you feel?

Answers below. Now do you understand why I say kids singing Nasyid on TV is bizarro and fake? Bizarro and fake because you KNOW as an adult that these kids are FORCED to believe what they are singing about and they have no choice but to believe because RELIGIOUS INDOCTRINATION must start from a very young age. These are the facts and sadly enough when these kids grew up they will do exactly the same things to their own kids and this sirs and madams is a tragedy.

p/s : I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo Galilei